Prayers do get answered

Sometimes I'm afraid to really pray for something. I pray all the time, but when something's really important, I get scared and only pray halfheartedly, and then try not to think about it. I realize this is not the way to get prayers answered. It shows a complete lack of faith. I'm afraid to really care about the answer and then recieve a no, or even worse, no answer at all. Well, in case anyone was wondering, this is not the way to protect yourself, or to protect your own faith in the power of prayer. Of course not. In fact, all you get is alot of unanswered prayers and diminished self esteem.

It takes bravery to really ask, on a regular basis, for things you truly care about. Its hard work to truly exercise faith in every instance. The answer won't always be yes. Thank-goodness for that. So anyway, I really need to remind myself and record answered prayers occasionally. So next time the answer is no, I can see the bigger picture and know God knows what is best for me. Here's a recent story that is still fresh in my mind.

I am very very brain dead when I'm pregnant. Truthfully, I'm always brain dead, but even more so when pregnancy throws my hormones all out of whack. I'm always losing things. like important documents and my train of thought. Its very frustrating. Recently, I lost some very important papers having to do with my calling at church. Even worse, I forgot to look for them until several weeks later, almost a month. We searched the entire house, but to no avail. We searched the car, nothing. I had almost given up. It was humiliating, because there were several people in the ward it would affect. I had been continuously praying, but not with real effort or faith. Can God do the impossible if I threw them away? was always in the back of my mind. But the spirit told me that I needed to put away my fear and pray wholeheartedly. Afterward, the thought crossed my mind that I should call my mom, to see if there was a chance I had left the papers there when visiting on Sunday. Well, she didn't answer. On a whim I decided to call my sister Fae to ask if she had them. I had little hope of it though. I do spend alot of time at Fae's, but never Sundays, so it didn't seem likely. Well, lo and behold, the papers were at her house after all. I had completely forgotten that we had borrowed their car for a few days. She had found the papers when cleaning out the car, and miraculously had not thrown them away. I was in shock. And grateful. God can do what may seem to be impossible. And even though we need faith to receive answers to prayers, sometimes, he will except hope or even a desire to believe. He truly does want to bless us. How amazing, and yet, how consistent. Thanks for listening to a silly little story.

Quick to forget...

I'm always saying things to myself like, "how come this always happens", "how come I never get a yes answer to prayers" or "Why does everything bad always happen at once!"
I've never been one to say specifically why me, and I've always been kind of offended at the statement, but what I'm starting to realize what I think is just as bad. Unlike the why me notion, I'm not comparing my trials to others trials. I know everyone has their problems, and I'll take my own, thank-you very much. But when I make general statements about my life like that, I'm ignoring the blessings I see every day. I never write down my blessings, so when trials come around, I'm stupid enough to honestly forget I've seen any blessings at all. But I have, and its extremely ungrateful of me. So I guess this is yet another testimony of writing down our blessings and spiritual experiences.

Today my prayer was answered with a yes. So there.
I had some receipts I had to find, and was getting quite frustrated about it. I prayed, and even though I didn't find them both, I found one and was given a solution to the lack of the other. Problem solved.
Also, I received some guidance about how to enrich my scripture study which I sorely needed. It was inspired and detailed and another answer to prayer, albeit along with some chastisement. I'm grateful for that too.

A New blog, a new resolve

My other blogger site is all about ranting, and stupid things other people say. However, last night as I watched President Hinkley's message from the Christmas devotional, I had a renewed resolve to be a better person. And unfortunately, I really felt like by writing so much negativity it was actually making me a negative person, and that's the opposite of what I want to be. I think the way to change the person you are, you have to change the way you think. Obviously, this isn't easy, but I can start by recognizing the unhelpful thoughts and the good ones, and then limiting the unhelpful ones as much as possible. Sometimes, I have to change my surroundings or activities. Its really hard for me to do actually, because I'm afraid of boredom. Its hard to change my everyday activities without a little boredom though. Like if I want to spend time talking to my husband instead of watching a movie. Hard hard. Thats silly that its hard, I know.

Anyway, this blog is going to be about my blessings, as boring as that may be for others to read. I recieve blessings all the time, but I'm quick to forget what they are. No more.

I'm grateful for a great visiting teaching companion. Shes forgiving, friendly, and charitable. She just got called as the relief society president, and I'm actually close enough to her that I knew by her overwhelmed face that she was the one called right as soon as I knew they had released the last one. I'm not at all close to my visiting teachers. They're nice, but they are such good friends with each other that they forget about me during meetins sometimes. But it doesn't matter. The Lord knows you can't possibly be friends with everyone, but he also knows you need a sister friend in the ward. So he gives you lots of chances. He gives you visiting teachers, but also a companion, and the girls you visit teach as well. Purty smart.